Yes, the irony of this blog entry isn’t lost on me.  In fact, thinking has always been the biggest barrier between me and mindfulness.  I remember being on a second date with a young lady (before I met my lovely bride, Lori) who said to me, “You know, your problem is that you think too much.”  I responded  with, “And you don’t think enough.”  I don’t recall a third date.  Anyway, I have always been prone to pondering.  One of my favorite pastimes is taking a long hike with my dog Boone and contemplating, imagining, and conjuring; an experience I call “wander ponders.”  Lori says that this is “active meditation.”  I like that.  I think it is as close as I get to mindfulness.

I am thinking about mindfulness these days because I have been mulling around the concepts of self- actualization, full cognitive development, and achieving true contentment.  In Marine parlance, I have been pondering, “be[ing] all you can be.”  There are a lot of renowned minds, current and past, who dedicated their life to these topics.  What does it mean to become self-actualized?  What is the highest level of consciousness to which we humans can aspire?  Is it possible to be truly content?  Can we all reach the same levels of being or are some of us limited by our intellect?  Heck, what is intellect?  (That’s another blog topic).

As I age, I have become increasingly unconcerned about the external definitions of success.  I have never been interested in fame, in fact it sounds very unappealing to me.  Wealth is not particularly inspiring:  I want only enough money to ensure that the ongoing battle between my checking account and my bills doesn’t intercede on my consciousness at 2 AM in the morning.  Had I wanted status, I would have stayed in the corporate world. As an American, when you remove fame, wealth, and status from your wish list of things to which you aspire, you are left with a more introspective list.  You have also lost any chance at a reality television show.

What is on my list?  When I reach the mid-point of our wander ponders, the moment when Boone and I come into a large meadow about three miles into our hike, I release Boone from his leash and let him bound about gleefully.  It is at this place that I achieve my own thoughtful version of mindfulness.  Watching Boone embrace his five minutes of unfettered freedom, I think to myself, true and full self- actualization for me is really three things.  First, it is the independence to live as I wish to live; to do what I love and love it as I do it.  Second, it is the peace of mind of knowing that I am blessed at this very moment in time and not want for anything more.  And finally, the self discipline to not let my own thoughts chase away the first two.

I do not know to what spiritual heights a human being can rise, but the limits of my brain make it hard for me to imagine there is a higher level of consciousness than the independence to live as you wish to live, to have inner peace in the present, and to possess the ability to armor yourself from any thoughts to the contrary.  My fullest self looks exactly like Boone in the meadow.